Saturday, June 4, 2016

Dear Rejection, You suck...but thank you.

Without you, I never would be who I am today. I never thought I would say this, but you’re probably the best thing that could have happened to me. I first remember you in seventh grade when my boyfriend (if you could call him that) of just a few days dumped me after Valentine’s Day. And I definitely don’t blame him. In fact, I would dump me, too. He gave me the cutest red stuffed Monster with the words “Be Mine!” My gift? Uh- do I really have to say? Okay, it was a copy of Rod Stewart’s “Do you Think I’m Sexy?” Sexy? I was not even close, nor did I really even know what sexy was. Was I “on fleek?” Not even close. My braces and lack of fashion sense made me wonder why I even had a boyfriend in the first place. But there you were Rejection over the phone that day, telling me I was officially dumped. You did, however, prepare me for future relationship fiascos, so thanks for getting me
started at an early age.

The biggie, of course, was that on/off college relationship I had for (gag) six years. And when I finally ended it, because I sensed a lack of honesty and my gut told me I could really do a lot better, it was as if he had dumped me. The tidal wave of your Rejection pummeled me to the ground. I think it took me a year to recover, but I did, and I thank you for that experience. Rejection, you really did teach me what not to repeat again in future relationships and how not to be a doormat. I realized how young love can be completely out of touch. My father nailed it when he said, “don’t confuse love for weakness.”

Rejection, you are the reality slap I usually need. You provide guidance and insight into staying strong on this rocky ride called life. When you first showed up in my career life, you crushed me, my self-esteem and my dreams. I later learned that the only one who can crush my goals is me, and I shouldn’t be sitting around dreaming anyway. I should be doing, achieving, and not taking your rejection to heart. Often times, your rejection turned out to be the best thing that happened. I turned a corner, uncovered something new in me, and found a direction I never realized. So, thanks.

Here’s my biggest learning moment from you Rejection: when someone doesn’t like my writing, my voice-over audition, my script, or whatever creative/career pursuit I am trying to achieve, that doesn’t mean everyone will feel that way. You have taught me that everyone has an opinion and you, Rejection, are very subjective. Some people like a little extra cheese on their pizza and others think the pizza I made is perfecto!

Rejection, I just don’t think you suck anymore. There I said it. I embrace you and all the people that come along with you. I look for why you appear in my life and what you can teach me. You give me great clarity, focus, and sharpen my sense of humor. So, even though sometimes you really do kind of suck, I have learned to just keep on going. You’re not so bad anymore. I guess you have grown on me. Thanks.

Professor Stephanie Reich, UCI professor of education and expert on youth and social media

LISTEN to today's show featuring UCI professor Stephanie Reich Stephanie Reich , UCI professor of education and expert on youth and soci...