The Film Seeks To Highlight The Pervasive Nature Of Gaslighting In Relationships And Society View in browser
Your Reality, a short film written and starring Tatjana Anders and directed by Top Tarasin, which seeks to highlight the impact of gaslighting, has recently surpassed over six million views on YouTube. The film, which has received 17,000 comments from people sharing their own experiences with gaslighting, follows a successful PR manager who slowly loses her grip on reality after falling in love with a charming yet manipulative photographer.
Gaslighting is the action of repetitively (and often brazenly) lying to someone to manipulate, and ultimately control them and the relationship. It could be divided into four different types: outright lying, manipulation of reality, scapegoating and coercion.
According to the Office of National Statistic, the Crime Survey for England & Wales estimated that 2.1 million people aged 16 or older (1.4 million women and 751,000 men) experienced domestic abuse in the year ending March 2023. Over 889,000 incidents (excluding Devon & Cornwall) of domestic abuse were recorded by the police in England and Wales, but just over 39,000 were convicted. The National Domestic Violence Hotline found that 95% of contacts made in 2020 stated they were experiencing emotional abuse.
It can also be seen in the workplace, with a 2019 study conducted by MRH Global finding that over 54% of respondents, from a pool of over 3000 people, say they had experienced gaslighting at work.
Gaslighting is not exclusive to domestic or professional relationships and has also been found to exist in para social relationships between an audience and a public figure or politician. A para social relationship develops when an audience can feel they know and trust a public figure in question due to their cultivated perception or shared ideals despite not knowing the individual in real life.
Speaking about the project, Anders explains why she wanted to make the short:
“Your Reality was inspired by a close friend of mine, whose happiness, confidence, and self-worth has been demolished by a gaslighting ex. Seeing the devastating impact it had on her and how long it took for her to recover made me want to raise awareness on this topic.
With over six million views on YouTube, I am deeply touched by the overwhelming response to our short film. However, the number of comments and messages I receive from (predominantly) women about how much they can relate to the main character is genuinely concerning - it made me want to do more around this topic. That’s why I’m currently working on a feature film version with award-winning director / producer Matthew Wortman. The feature focuses not only on how the story ends, but also on the root cause of gaslighting, which usually starts with parents.”
In a 2023 article, Choosing Therapy highlighted the issue of gaslighting within paternal relationships. Stating “Gaslighting parents use toxic ways to manipulate and control their children, such as distorting the facts, denying a child's experience, or playing the victim. In adulthood, the effects of being raised by gaslighting parents can include low self-esteem and a heightened risk for mental health disorders.”
Growing up in Ukraine, Anders moved to Germany at the age of ten. Learning a new language and culture made her hyper-observant of the people around her - a gift she now channels into her film work. After completing a degree in Business, she decided to follow her passion for acting and filmmaking instead, creating films that have a meaningful message and a potential for life-changing impact.
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