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Julia Bendis shares her backstory
I was born in the Former Soviet Union, and moved to the U.S. in 1989 when I was 13 years old, which was also right before the fall of Communism. I still speak and write fluently in Russian language. I'm also Jewish, so this makes me a true "Fiddler on the Roof" Matchmaker :)
Growing up in Communism was difficult not only because you didn’t have personal freedom, but also because we lacked many things. Food was hard to come by, waiting in lines only to find out they ran out of things was a daily struggle. Even though life wasn’t easy, my family was still able to enjoy the little things like each other and bringing people together. As long as I can remember the women in my family did two major things: cook and introduce people to one another. My Mother matched people up back in Russia as well and have counted numerous weddings and babies as a result. Once we moved to the U.S. her Matchmaking took a back seat in order to help my Father provide for us. That’s when I took over in a way. My first match was when I was in high school, and the couple went out for about 3 years.
I’ve always known that I had a keen intuition of who would be great with whom, and my ability to read people only developed even stronger as I got older and living in a whole new country. This intuition and my Grandmother’s wisdom has guided and helped me over all these years, and I continue to use her wise words and advice to this day.
The History of Match by Julia and Matchmaking in general
Matchmaking has been a huge part of Russian and Jewish culture for many generations, and in my family in particular. Jewish women in Russia and Poland have always gathered together in villages to bring single men and women together. In the beginning it was definitely something that was arranged by the parents and grandparents, and most people had arranged marriages. Over time as the culture and religion evolved, single people wanted to give their input in what type of partner they wanted. So these so-called Matchmakers would sit down with the families to share their “files” on who was single in their town or village, and give information about their families. Once people started to move further away from their families, the art-form of “Matchmaking” started to die down. And of course with new technology, people didn’t want outside help when it came to their love-life. However, these days more and more people find themselves not only too busy to go out and meet people, but are overwhelmed with the amount of choices when it comes to online dating, bars, night-life and the lack of time to be able to pursue the different avenues of meeting a partner. That’s why old-world Matchmaking, with a new and revised traditions are even more helpful today. Instead of people meeting strangers online, seeing pictures and profiles that could be completely fake and wrong for them, I meet with every single person and screen them prior to setting them up on dates.
There’s a big difference in meeting someone in person versus behind a computer looking at touched up pictures, and written profiles that may only be words and not reality.
How Match by Julia works and relates to today’s dating scene
I bring my culture, my upbringing and my realistic view on life and relationships to the people I work with.
My style is very unique since I don't try and change people like other so-called Matchmakers on TV, I don't yell or berate people. However, I do tell every client to be realistic in their search for love and more importantly open-minded to any and all possibilities. I teach them to forget their list of must-haves in a partner, and open their eyes to all potential matches.
I have a realistic view on relationships, dating and what work and what doesn't, which is something I help my clients learn and understand. I love talking to and helping people. I live for love, and think everyone deserves to be loved and have a partner in life, no matter what age they are. My clients range in age from 23 to 84.
I founded Match by Julia and matchbyjulia.com after many years of fixing people up for fun, and satisfaction of seeing people happy and in love. I started bringing people together as a teenager, and continued all the way until I got married and had my own kids. After many years I realized that I was spending more time bringing people together than any other job I had, and it was the most satisfaction that I’ve ever known as well. Matchmaking has not only been my work, but part of my daily life as well. I have always taken the time to make a deep connection with every person I’ve come in contact with, making it a priority to remember each one. With every new client, I get to know them on a personal level, their needs, wants and desires for their future mate. After the initial meeting, start researching, interviewing, and screening people that are either in my database or by meeting and recruiting new clientele.
Match by Julia is a traditional and personalized matchmaking service that caters to anyone wanting to find their other half. Every match is hand-picked, through a one-on-one process that pays great detail to your specific needs. I work with both female and male clients in Orange County.
About Julia's soon-to-be finished book!
I'm also writing a self-help type of book directed to Men, a dating "how-to and what not to do" book. There are thousands of books, courses and seminars for women, on how to find the guy, how to keep the guy, etc., but hardly anything for men out there. My whole point for the book is how do men learn how to be a gentleman, how to court a woman, how to act and dress and have dating etiquette? I see this problem over and over again with my clients. Relationships end before they can even begin because men don't know how to behave on a first date, or after the first date.
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